Okay let us start. I know how it feels to be lonely(yeah) and I was lonely for a loooong ass time. When my friends were having girlfriends and break ups, I'm the only guy without any of that. (Where were you oh friendster minahs?) And I can never forget how frustrating and brutal this “dating game" can be. So, I try to remind myself never to take fulfilling relationships for granted.
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By; Evil Bunny
How to Nab that girl (part 2)
After the first embarrassing-tell-all examples from part one, it’s time for me to expose my own dating technique on how to win the heart of your girl. Like an animal in heat, we guys have to try all sorts of techniques to get the attention of a girl we so desire. But unlike the animal, we don’t have shiny colorful feathers or a sexy mating dance to impress the girls. (If we do, then all of us will be line dancing by now.) God made our game more complex and it takes a lot of brain power, good clothes and skill for us guys to plant a flag on the girl that makes ourheart melt.
The Teaser
Before I go on you must be aware and be careful of the teaser.The dating game is actually simple but teasers are the onesthat makes it all crazy, humiliating and difficult. The teaser is what I refer to a girl who gives mixed signals. Sound, electrical,electromagnetic, morse code, .. whatever signal you can think off, she is there to manipulate it and put your radar, which is actually fine to begin with, all askew. The teaser can make any responsible, careful , decision making man into a bumbling retard. But why would girls do mean things like that? I’ve found a couple of reasons:-
1) Downright boredom
2) She’s just being a meanie.(Yup I know, its evil..more evil than me.)
3) And my favorite- she wants to see if her charm is still there.
Some single girls are teasers because they want to know if they are still in “demand”. So they send mixed signals just to let ANY guy do the approaching and when the guys does, she would say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. I’m not interested.”
(i hate this kind.waste of time one)
The Invisible Guard
So now that you are aware of the teaser, I will introduce to you to the “invisible guard.” Every nice girl has this invisible guard.You cannot see it (hence the name invisible) but you can sense it. I give you an example.
Have you been in a lift alone with an old auntie and you can chat with her like whatever but once the old auntie gets off her floor and comes in a girl that is around your age, you suddenlyfeels the tension? Suddenly the whole lift reeks of sexual pheromones, and both of you don’t talk but you try to steal glances and she goes awkward? This is the guard I’m talking about and looks like its on full gear, with barbed wires and all. (But that doesn’t mean the old auntie has thrown her invisible guard away.. its just that her guard is meant for old uncles.)
Note: The invisible guard is subjective. It’s intensity vary from different girls. If the girl likes you, she may lower her guard to asmall wall that you can climb over with ease. But if you look like a Mr Personality or she had too many bad experiences with jerks, her guard can be in the form of an impenetrable fortress with security cameras.
So how in the world can you prove to her that you are the niceguy she’s been looking for but she would not even give you achance to begin with? How do you demolish that wall or atleast make a small enough hole for you to get into her sacredWonderland- a place where bunnies fly and chocolate tulips grow?
Pretend you don’t like her.
Yup, you read it right. Even though you have a shrine of her and collected her hair, skin and stool sample in neat little jars next to her picture, you cannot, at all cost, give her a hint that you are interested in her in the beginning. (Look at this mess,the girl who doesn’t like the guy, teases him, while the guy who like the girl can’t show his love. What a warp world we livein -_-. ) If you like the girl and passionately show it even beforethe girl knows you well enough, the game is over even before it starts. The girl will start to scrutinize you and being the Mr Personality that you are, the results are not gonna be good. You have just sabotaged yourself.
What you gotta do is to show her that you are the next, regularguy friend that she has. Electric neutrons will start to send signals to her female brain, telling her there is no threat. “This guy is just another male bloke friend of mine. Whatever.” (But little does she knows that this bloke is a man on a mission. A mission to win her heart!) That way, her guard will be lowered, (Notice that it is still there because you are a member of the opposite sex.) When the guard is lowered, you can then, make your move as in, do little gestures to show that you care, have meaningful conversation, engage her mind and thoughts, make her laugh etc. So that means, you must control yourself not to look at her every 5 freaking seconds, keep your jaw intact and not drool, stay calm even though you are mess inside and act as if you don’t notice her. Once she knows you are “one of the guys” she’ll lower her guard. Once she lowers her guard you can move in for the kill!
This scenario is equivalent to the one below
The dating game, explained in Discovery Channel style.
Like a weak baby foal who is lost in search of its mother,
you the carnivorous predator must strike now.
Go for the jugular!
Real case scenario:
I asked a good-looking girl on why she refuses the advances of a fellow suitor. Her reply was: “He seemed too eager.” That was the day I learnt my lesson. I thought eager was good. Eager tells that you are ready to burst all your love out, ready to serve the girl you adore. Eager, is “I’m ready to do anything that pleases you, so just ask for it and I will try my damnedest to make you happy” But I guess girls see eager as a turn off. And I have been eager sooooo many times. Until today, there’sthis girl who keeps avoiding me because I’m too freaking eager!
Real life eager example:
A friend of mine was interested in this girl and he kept giving her hints. The girl won’t budge and scoff at every attempt that he made. Then this friend of mine, cease all advances totally. He was pissed and he was tired of chasing so he stopped all smses and phone calls. The girl started to call him instead and that was the start of his relationship. They got married end of last year:)
(i'm never gonna try this stunt.if it does backfires,i'm gonna kick myself)
Sorry, I’m attached
Another way to bring that guard of her down is to say you areattached on day one, even though it’s not true. Yes, now you have an imaginary girlfriend. I can see girls talk easy with me once they know I’m attached. The minute she knows I have a girlfriend, you can see the calm in her eyes. Her guard will be lowered because she thinks that you are not pursuing her. So she don’t feel all stressed out. But, she doesn’t know that your girlfriend is imaginary, so that means you can go all out on your advances. Tricky eh?!
When want to lie, don’t like until like that lah.
Another good thing about this is that, let’s face it, girls like guys whom are attached. This analogy is the same as the employer who is conducting an interview. If you say that you have been unemployed for months even though it’s true, you will project an undesirable image to the employer. You will not be able to negotiate a higher salary because the employer knows that you are not sought after. So your value decreases. On other hand, if you say you are currently working, you are telling him that “I am needed in my present company. Even if you don’t give me this job, I have nothing to lose. So make me a good offer.”
So likewise, the girl will be curious with you. Since she got herguard down, you are free to make your advances and if youcan make her laugh and treat her right etc. she will start thinking. “I like this man. He makes me happy. I gotta start turning my charm on so that he will open his eyes and dump that bitch of his.” But she doesn’t know that the bitch doesn’t even exist.
Never mention your fake girlfriend often
or give any emphasis to her or this day might come.
Another thing that this tactic works like a charm is that, havinga fake girlfriend, adds to the excitement. You are making youradvances even though you are “attached” (Advance sparingly though, if not she’ll think you are a serial cheater) The girl likes you and try to hint you to dump your girl. It’s forbidden love and it’s exciting. Haha. Not some standard, I like you, you like me kinda thing… it’s a I- want-you-but-I-can’t-have-you-but-we-just-gonna-play-this-game-because-it-feels so-right. Haha.
Warning! Fake a girlfriend sparingly, just enough for her to lower her guard. Do not twist intricate lies and fabricate talesthey you went scuba diving last weekend with your fake gf etc.Just say I'm attach. That’s it. Once she lowers her guard you go for the move. Once you notice a shred of interest, dump that fake of yours by telling her that its over and you don’t wanna talk about it!
Desperate times calls for desperate skills.
Lets us just say, you are not comfortable cheating on a fake girlfriend or you don’t think you can keep up with the charade.There’s one more thing you can do.. get a skill. I have seen toads at chalet gathering swarmed with girls just because theyare good playing the guitar. He would croon, “Ode to my family” from the Cranberries and girls would be singing with him like blind zombies. In between the chorus, they seem to have forgotten that he’s a toad and what matter is that the song is awesome. They want to bring him home so that he can strum his guitar in their living room. I wish I can play the guitar.
(i play guitar.where's the girl of my dreams? XP )
One thing good about skills is that you can target the type of girls that you like. If you dress up all black and do awesome magic(awesome,like me you mean? XD ) , you’ll attract goth girls. If you start a rock band and actually play good music that manage to hit the radiowaves, you’ll get tattooed, wild rocker chicks. (I saw this popular rockband on TV and the musician was this fat slob with dreadlocks but he got 2 hot rock chicks hanging out in his studio. If the fat slob was a bus driver, the girls will be nowhere in sight.)If you happen to create an enjet –enjet semut cartoon and then decided to post crappy articles on your website, you’ll get minahs adding you to Friendster hehe. (Before that, I have only 5 friends and 1 testimonial.)
Above is a replica of an ad I saw in a magic magazine.
As you can see, advertisers know what I am talkingabout.
That ad is aimed at guys who think that they can win the heart of a girl
(an engaged girl at that)
by buying the “Vanishing Ring Trick”. Sad but it’s true!
Plant your flag
So, your dream girl has lowered her guard and you have successfully infiltrated her domain. She signaled some positive vibe and both of you enjoy each other’s company. You guys are hanging out in groups all the time.. (I said hanging out, not making out.) But it’s not the end, she is susceptible to other advancement from other guys because she is technically still single. This is what you gotta do. You have to plant your flag. Locally, minahs call it the “sound”.
(the most 'leceh' thing to do...argh)
The sound is the breaking point; it’s life and death! It’s the point where you can either see the fruit of your investment or a total waste of time by some teaser. I know it’s gonna be tough because you are putting yourself on the spot. Your ego and dignity is at the lowest and it’s free for her to trample on if she wants too. But it’s okay because you are a guy. And guys should be tougher and have a thicker skin than girls, that's what at least I tell myself whenever I want to sound a girl. Mostguys like to do it over the phone. I like to do it face to face. But what do you say to her? Every guy has his means. The Romeo guy will spout poetry and other subtleties, another guy mayuse shadow puppets to express how he feels, some guy sturned their gay mode on and start to blab about his feelings; the last time I did it was like securing a business deal. Haha!You can relay the message anyway you like but all messages must have
1) the clear confession of love for the girl to assert that this is no mixed signal and to acquire whether she feels the same.
2) the suggestion to bring the friendship to another level ie; of a couple
3) the clear rule that neither party should welcome the advancement of other suitors.
If she agrees to all conditions then, congratulations, you are now finally attach to the girl of your dreams? If she don’t, pick up your broken heart, don’t watch any romantic movies or listen to love songs for 6 months straight. Heal. And then start to find another girl. And ladies, when you make your decision, be sure that you have thought about it carefully because guys don’t like to sound twice on the same girl.
My vivid memory of sounding a girl was years back. I expressed everything and she grew pale. Then she looked like she wanted to puke. After that, she said..
That's right folks- a girl gotta think 24 hours to get hook up with me. It was like waiting for some test result. Worst than O levels. But did she say yes? Hey I gotta draw the line somewhere right?
I’m not telling,
Evil Bunny!
PS: Last but not least, I just have to add that sometimes when you can't get a certain girl, it's because she has a this prerequisite, example;some girls doesn't like short guys or guys who are younger than her etc. So if she rejects you, don't be too hard on yourself.
DISCLAIMER: The techniques I shared with you above might be used by jerks so girls be EXTRA careful. And no, this is to nab a nice girl for marriage and not for-I'm-lonely-reasons-and-gotta-have-some-fun. I discourage holding hands (as long u noe ur limit,can wad? dumb bunny..lol) because little things like these will lead to unhealthy lifestyles example; fornication. So hang out in groups and don’t touch nothing. And yes, it can be done!
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